[Review] My First Girlfriend is a Gal – episode 1

Junichi “Jun” Hashiba is an uncool high school student who frets about wanting to lose his virginity. Egged on by his friends, Jun gets on his knees and confesses his love to a classmate named Yukana Yame. The confession surprisingly works and the couple goes out. However, Jun finds himself in uncharted waters with Yame, a trendy and fashion-conscious “gal.”

Source: Anime News Network

“Oh, there’s this season’s obligatory T&A show,” I thought, as the opening seconds of the episode framed a set of censored labia and the opening credits showed off the kind of watermelon boobs that would give an actual human serious back problems. I could’ve called it there, but I kept on—you may all remember that I had a grand time laughing at Seven Mortal Sins last season, so I didn’t want to miss any idiotic gold.

The only idiot was me, flying ever higher on wings of wax.

Caution: So very, very many NSFW images below.

A woman's butt and panties, with a sparkly heart over the labia

Gal is not content with being the kind of series that includes a lot of ridiculously fetishistic designs as a cynical icing over an actual attempt to tell a story. No, no. This is a show that strives. And what it strives for is to be completely repugnant on every level.

Several male/female couples, with the men feeling up butts and boobs

The women we see through the protagonist’s eyes (I didn’t bother to learn his name, because fuck him) are framed facelessly unless they’re a named character. The camera instead focuses on their butts and breasts. Even among the named characters, the majority of their dialogue is overridden by the protagonist’s internal monologue—what they say is utterly unimportant if he thinks he’s bombed his chance to have sex with them. Who they are as people is totally beside the point.

And in case you weren’t sure what that point was, the protagonist’s internal image of his ideal high school girlfriend has no face, no opinions, and is just a means to him getting laid. It’s a step beyond “horny teen” and into “actively dehumanizing,” and watching made me increasingly ill as the runtime ticked slowly (so, so slowly) on.

the protagonist's friend ask, "I wonder where you can meet some cute elementary school girls."

And then there are the protagonist’s friends, a trio of walking, gibbering reconstituted fecal vomit for which I do not possess enough anti-bacterial soap. And I own a lot of soap, readers.

The protagonist asks his friends, who are crowding toward hi. She's like a little kid. You guys okay with that?

His friends crowd in closer and say in unison. It's better that way!

These chucklefucks are responsible for an extended diatribe, complete with a fantasy sequence, about how girls who look like grade school students are sexy. The show occasionally has the protagonist’s internal monologue point out how deeply illegal all of this and so forth, as if the show is smugly patting itself on the back for realizing its own repugnance after wallowing in it for nearly a quarter of the episode.

This lusting after children is also set up to be a running gag with one of his friends. Charming.

A young looking high school student dressed as a grade schooler, blushing and lying on a bed. Dialogue: Onii-chan, I'm too young to do that sort of thing.

That’s not even getting into the fact that the decision to ask out the titular “gal,” Yukana, is based on the assumption that she’ll be easy. Any half-hearted attempt the script might make to reassure us that it knows these boys are the worst is thoroughly gutted by several lengthy fantasy sequences indulging in this objectifying notion.

The protagonist, looking determined (and creepy) imagines the titular gal naked and lying on a bed with her tongue out. Dialogue: that's right. I'm losing my virginity

Yukana starts out as an all right character, with an adorable friendship and no time for this guy’s shit. I deluded myself briefly with imaginings of a better version of a totally different show, where a total scuzz learns that women are People, Actually.

That bubble was summarily burst when, because the script says so, it turns out this gal is actually totally into the protagonist and is going to go out with him.

a close-up of Yukana's open mouth, her tongue covered in spit
THIS ISN’T EVEN SEXY. THIS IS JUST UNHYGIENIC

If you want a series about pervy assholes where the show at least knows what’s up, you might as well rewatch Welcome to the NHK. If you want a glimpse into the Gal subculture that actually gives a shit about its female characters, check out Super Gals! This show belongs nowhere but the uttermost depths of a garbage pit.

Read the ANN Preview Review Guide.

 

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  • GreyLurker

    wow you got farther with this than I did. I NOPED out at the childhood friend.

  • GreyLurker

    depends what you are looking for. If you enjoy silly fun I think Magic Circle Guru Guru is an under appriciated gem.

  • Burly

    Watched this off the back of Galko chan, which was a great series. Didn’t like the first episode but actually kind of grew on me in the end. And for my friend too. It doesn’t pretend to be anything grander than utter trash and you can enjoy it for that